The art of whispering in my partner’s ears is one I’m still really learning to do. I’m not particularly vocal when it comes to sex. I don’t really moan and my soundtrack sounds like you’ve fudged the RCA cables. I’d once been told one of the sexiest things a man has ever done is had a noise complaint from his sexcapades. That doesn’t sound sexy to me — I’d die of second hand embarrassment if I had to answer the door to that.
It’s All About the Ego
There’s nothing sexier than knowing your partner is that into you. Being loud can be a competition — the louder they scream the louder they enjoy it, right? I get the thinking but being vocal like that is not just a disturbance but it just sounds like waking up sore all over. There’s a post-sex sore and then there’s just being miserable. My throat just closed up even thinking about it.
I can’t imagine ever being so into it that I’d be screaming my head off either. I’ve had great sex and I can’t never think of a time where it’s made me want to scream and shout.
I once told my partner about this and he laughed. He’d never had it happen to him and he’d told me he assumed it was probably a lie. The guy I mentioned before was probably making up a story to sell his prowess as ultra alpha dominator.
My partner did let it slip that it’d be flattering to know he could produce that kind of result though. It wasn’t a stab at me — more of an off-hand comment but I immediately felt flustered by the admission. Does it seem like I don’t care because I’m not singing my head off? He’d never complained before but he’d also never mentioned anything about it.
I wanted to Indulge my Partner
Nothing is more embarrassing than deciding on act on something in the bedroom that’s completely out of the character and you’re not confident in. I remember I once sat with a group of friends and played drinking games that involved making sex noises as we moved around. I remember not knowing how to really make a show and divulged in grunts and groans more reminiscent of the guys because it was easier than sounding like Sally.
That same embarrassment erupted when I tried making a soundtrack I coin the Trials and Tribulations of a dying goat. Okay so it wasn’t that bad but it was pretty bad. My partner stopped to ask if I was okay and then immediately started laughing really loud when they realized what had happened. They were very quick to let me know they had no issues with how we’d been having sex before and didn’t need me to change. I’d appreciated it but I still felt like I could do better.
Researching Vocal Sex
So I sat down and Googled how to make myself more appreciative. For the most part it was a lot of advise about showing interest which I’d never struggled with. If I’m not interested you can tell I’m not interested. I’ve always tried to respond to my partner in such a way to show just how sexy they made me feel.
I finally stumbled upon a list of things partners found sexy and it listed a bunch of things people appreciate from their partner. Being treated like a princess/god was something people couldn’t get over and it got me thinking. I couldn’t pretend to shout but I could definitely talk about the things that drove me crazy. So I’d mentioned how good my partner made me feel, I’d whisper in their ear just how good they made me feel and I can safely say it was one of the sexiest experiences we’ve had. I wasn’t super invested in the ear whispering but I got pleasure from seeing how well it affected my partner. Having them know just how good they made me feel made me feel pleasure and that was what I’d set off to do.
Every time they made my toes curl I wanted them to know just how bad I wanted them. I wanted them to know I appreciate and loved how sexy they made me feel and how it good it is to be with them.
I might not be a vocal queen and if we ever did a recording it’d be more akin to the Ying Yang Twins but it works for us. I’m not vocal all the time but it’s almost like a naughty secret when it happens. It’s those days when I’m especially into it and I want my partner to know.