If you’ve ever been in a long term relationship you’re probably familiar with the affects of a stale relationship. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with said relationship, but it’s probably lost that glossy shine that made it maddeningly addictive in its initial days.
It happens to all of us. As you grow together as a couple you learn each other’s vices and you learn to accomodate each other. In other words, you set a routine. Routines are great, it means I know where my keys are. We never lose pants or socks. But we also never do anything new.
In the beginning
Of any relationship I learn how to kiss. Every partner kisses differently and every partner likes a certain type of kiss. There’s a thrill to exploring what kind of kisses bring the most pleasure. Is it a lip bite, a swipe of the tongue, whatever it is, I love learning the ins and outs of a new partner.
Like horny teenagers those first few days/weeks of a relationship are often filled with makeout sessions. Even as an adult I love simply kissing as a form of intimacy.
As relationships go on it’s not that kisses stop it’s that they just get shorter
By the time I’ve been in a relationship for a year our kisses are mostly reduced to pecks. Kisses that led to touching were usually replaced with kisses at greetings. That’s all fine and dandy but they’re about as naughty as patting a dog on the head.
When it gets to that point I usually realize I’ve just become too familiar with my relationship. The relationship doesn’t have that honeymoon phase so the high adrenaline passion is in the backburner. Things like making sure our laundry is done on time is a higher priority than marking claim on all the furniture.
How’d we move forward?
We kissed. Every night if we weren’t feeling exhausted I tried to initiate a longer kiss. I’d turn off the tv and make sure my focus was directly on them and likewise for my partner. Even if it didn’t lead to sex or a heavy makeout session it brings forth a spike of excitement.
I genuinely feel a spike of attraction any time our kisses lasted longer. It was reminding myself of how much touching each other wasn’t just getting intimate it was engaging in pleasure together.
Kissing forms a connection that builds into passionate play. I love kissing and it’s one of those things I learn to forget as I get comfortable. As frisky as the act is it doesn’t always lead to sex. And I’m okay with that. Sex is amazing, and if we’re really into it there’s nothing more erotic than getting lost in each other. But sometimes we just aren’t feeling it and that’s okay too. We’ll trade lazy kisses and just feel intimately connected.
Whether it gets you hot and heavy or simply builds a connection I recommend longer kisses when you fear things might be going stale. Remind yourself how attractive they make you feel and how attractive they are to you.