At least for this month.
I don’t really care for Valentine’s Day most of the time but I was feeling sorry for myself this month having no one I really wanted to spent it with so I said yes to every date this month and it was a lesson learned.
First off, I don’t think I’m particularly picky about who I date because I believe our virtual selves don’t represent our actual personalities well. There’s so much more to us and it’s really easy to fake it when we’re glossy pixels on a screen.
But there’s still a bias
When you’re virtually looking at someone’s profiles there’s always something you think is a deal breaker that isn’t in real life. I remember once swiping left at someone who said they couldn’t do sushi because I love sushi. But if I’d met this guy face to face it wouldn’t have mattered, we can go other places and it’s not like all of our dinners have to be the same. I remember sitting back and just thinking about it and calling myself a dumbass for such a ridiculous move but then your brain hits you with a “there’s more fish in the sea” and you move on to the next candidate.
It’s actually really terrible and if I knew someone had disqualified me for the same reason I’d be pissed. But that’s the modern age, you pick and choose people like it’s a video game rather than as if you’re looking at actual people with actual histories. I still stand by not swiping right for anyone with only fish and hockey pictures though.
Dating everyone that I had even a little chemistry with
Seems like an odd step but what it made me realize is that you really can’t gauge chemistry over text. It didn’t matter that someone was my exact type, when it came to meeting face to face the chemistry was always separate from what I thought it’d be.
I’ve heard some people say talking on the phone before a date is a great way to gauge chemistry but I hate talking over the phone. I’m a face to face type of person so it really won’t do anything except let me know if I’m talking to a guy or if I’m being catfished by a bot.
I’m not saying it always worked, there were some really bad dates. Like many people before me (and myself included) there were plenty of people who played the dating game as a way to reassure themselves of their own attractiveness rather than any actual attempt to find love. That or a free meal.
But it did make me reevaluate my point of view when it came to potential dates. I didn’t find my one but I’m a little more open to finding out what the future holds. I’m sorry no sushi guy, maybe next time I’ll be less stupid about it.